Language is important. Language means something, not just anything, but something specific. We seem to be moving more and more toward a culture of three to five word slogans. Of course a slogan has its place, but its place is never to be a simple summary of the complex world that we live in.

I was at an event recently where a motivational speaker made a lot of mistakes. I think that one of them was the phrase “don’t be a victim”, but others who attended the same event did not agree with me. And I see their point, however, I still think that they’re wrong.

You see, as I understand their point, there are plenty of people who are feeling hard-done-by when that’s not necessarily true. Or perhaps they are hard-done-by, but instead of trying to change their situation they are wallowing in self-pity or ‘using it as an excuse’. But did you notice what I did? I made this point, indeed a whole paragraph, without using the word victim.

I believe that there are parts of our language that need defending. Not because I believe that language is a static thing, but because I believe that language shapes culture. Perhaps even creates culture. Our only way to share ideas and understandings with others is language. Those ideas that we share are invariably influenced by the creativity and limitations of the language. I believe that the meaning of the word victim is one that needs to be defended.

Cambridge Dictionary defines victim as ” someone or something that has been hurt, damaged or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance”. You may notice that according to this definition a victim is someone that has something happen to them – they do not do anything. That is my problem with the phrase “don’t be a victim” – it changes the very idea of the word victim. It implies that there is a choice.

Whether you are a victim of trauma or circumstance, the first step to moving on is admitting that something has happened to you. And there are so many people who have trouble doing that. We live in a nation with an epidemic of domestic violence. Women are so commonly sexually assaulted that it is accepted as part of every women’s life. In some areas children are exposed to violence so routinely that no one worries because the children have ‘seen it all before’. In all of these cycles of violence there is under-reporting, people stay and subject themselves to more suffering. There are excuses made, blame mis-assigned and no one recognises a victim. Indeed, it is often the victim themselves that does not recognise what is being done to them.

I can completely understand the need to discuss moving on, pushing passed the hard things and thriving in your life. However, for some people the first step on that path is actually to say “I’m a victim”. It absolves them of their self-blame. It allows them to recognise their suffering. It can help to break a cycle.

So please, let’s protect the word victim. It belongs to the people who need it.